Malachu

"I'ma beat the Jesus into you"

Malachu is an important character in The Joseph Saga.

Appearence
Malachi is a skeleton with some spoiled milk that passes for skin, and when he wants to be seen in public, he puts wet straw on his head that could be considered hair.

Personality
Malachu is a self proclaimed "Perfectionist." Which means that if he ever loses, he'll complain about it for the next 10 minutes. Despite this, he's super chill, and like Dylan, he drinks Bud Light, and gets into arguments about which flavor of Red Bull is the best.

History
Malachu was created when Dylan stepped on a lego, and in a fit of rage, threw it against a wall. After that, Malachu just "Happened" according to Dylan. Afterwards, he was thrown into Kindergarten, along with Dylan, who didn't know what 2 x 4 was. Dylan didn't know that he created Malachu, and they became friends because they thought "Pokemon is pretty cool." Over the next 8 inches, Dylan and Malachu experienced a ton of adventures, like when Dylan hit Malachu in the knee with a baseball bat.

Powers and Abilities
Malachu has the ability to be really smart, but at the cost of inhaling 2 and a half gallons of peanut butter a day. After being taught how to throw by Joseph, he gained the ability to be hit by Mr. Game & Watch's Judgement when it rolls a 9. By watching a Shonen Anime, Malachu's japanese vocabulary increases. By drinking a gallon of warm milk, he can vomit all over his keyboard.

Trivia

 * Because Malachu is blond, he is automatically considered hot by 80% of 11 year olds.
 * There is a fan theory that because Malachu can play soccer, he isn't actually white, but Mexican, this theory was disproven by Dylan.
 * Ever since Dylan sat on him, Malachu has gotten a terrible fear of pencil sharpeners.
 * Malachu is one of the best SMASHERS in The Joseph Saga.
 * Malachu is one of the best duelists in the saga only rivaled by that of Dylan's weeds.